A VISIT HOME

Carlo, Cairo and I on my brief visit home.

Loyal readers. You’ve been with me since January, less than a month after my fall. I had no idea then that people would be at all interested in my continuing degradation, but we have grown to sixteen-thousand subscribers, which is phenomenal and very moving.

I like my writing to be freely available, which why my dispatches are for everyone. But paying subscribers must get value too, so in the coming weeks I plan to:

1.     Send Out Books: finally, I will be sending out signed copies of my books to Founding Members.

2.     Ask Me Anything: a post in which you can ask me questions in the comments and I will endeavour to reply to as many as I can.

3.     Material From My Back Catalogue: more material from my back catalogue.

As always, if you have the means, it’d mean a great deal if you could support my writing by becoming a paid subscriber, and keep this show on the road.

A right-wing acquaintance - a man I have met just once before, during lockdown - comes to visit me. He says that the problem with Rishi Sunak is that his voice is too high. He’s not convincing as a leader. I say I can imagine him in a white coat, behind the counter of a pharmacy discussing haemorrhoid creams. My friend says the politicians with deeper voices do much better.

It is unfortunate for people of the left that Keir Starmer sounds robotic and mindless, as if he were reading from a menu. My friend says that men with deep voices make for the best seducers. He adds that David Beckham’s voice undermines his masculinity, which is still considerable. As I try to fall asleep later, waking up approximately every twenty minutes, wondering if the clock has stopped, I consider all of this. The actor Brian Blessed, known for his booming voice, must be quids in, a master of the universe.

My family and I have been planning a brief trip home this weekend. But the clinical nurse is adamant that a physiotherapist should visit my home before I do, to ensure, as he puts it, that the place is “safe” for me and my wheelchair. I wonder if this guy really has the right to tell me where I can and can’t go, after all I am not in prison, I haven’t been kidnapped.