Dear Readers, What is on your mind? Would you like to ask me something? If so, please comment below and I will endeavour to answer as many of your questions as I can. Subscribers should rate them by clicking Like. I like to talk about writing - if there are aspiring writers reading this, lets create a discussion about the business of becoming a writer.
I spent 6 weeks living in a hospice with my partner who could not stay on a ward as brain cancer made him hypersensitive to noise. I had to move in because he couldn’t be left alone due to seizure risk and the hospice being unable to provide a 24/7 close watch.
It was a mad, intense and unusual experience. Our room became an extension of the staff room and an ante room off the ward for lots of patients who just wanted some company. Various family and friends came every day to give me a break so I could go home and feed the kids etc. We had a rota not unlike the system you have recently described.
I’m writing about it but cannot decide whether to write a memoir or a novel. Some of the most poignant, comical and tragic moments happened when people behaved in ways that they’re probably not proud of - me included. I’m fine with showing my own dodgy parts but........ is it okay to write about, for example, the sister who broke into the house and knicked his record collection whilst we were away, and other such incidents. Is it my story to tell as I like? I feel conflicted about it. I think a novel might liberate it - let the story fly but it did all happen so.......
Dear hanif. Thank you for your chronicles. You have taken your misfortunes and turned it into a creative art. But enough about you. I am a member of the loftily named Oxford Theatre Guild an AmDram group that puts on shows throughout the year. We do at least one Shakespeare in the Summer and one in the Winter. Then we do a lot of Eurocentric and white people stuff to cater to the North Oxford cashmere scarf wearing lot. This includes more productions of the Importance of being Earnest, Nell Gwynn, The Recruiting Officer, The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby, Andromache and on and on. I be like, "Sahibs, Memsahibs, bruvs, can we put on something a bit more contemporary and relevant to widen our target audience and be a bit more inclusive?" They have said they will think about it. I would like to direct a play that looks at identity, displacement, and the joys of living in the UK. (I am South African of Indian origin). Your Buddha of Suburbia was a mindfuck when I first read it. I was like, " There are other brown people who have expressed their struggle with identity and belonging and amplified their thoughts much more articulately than I ever could" Thank you Sir. But enough about me. Do you have any suggestions/thoughts or leads I could explore for any drama that could be done in the amateur dramatics arena? I can't write (yet) or I'd have written a funny play about immigrants and the immigrant experience or about just being brown and black in Oxford. For we are Townies not Gownies and some of us work at the BMW car factory.
I listened to your guest edited radio programme; when it got to the end credits , I cried my bloody eyes out. Bowie's voice , your story, the joy I remember from reading 'the buddah of suburbia' back in the day . anyway it all came together and felled me , in a deep but beautiful way. I wish you well on your healing journey and hope one day you can connect again to music .
thank you for your blog. your writing , and your honesty . j x
Since your accident have you tried any voice activated typing software? If so, do you think this is something that would enable you to write more independently in future, or would you find it too frustrating (you would probably still need someone to edit it)?
When I was young, I found it easy to escape myself and create fictional worlds, but having been beaten down by 30 years of severe illness and profound disability, I find that my mind is not so willing or able to escape the confines of my own preoccupations for long enough to write a novel. However, I find it refreshing to write feature length articles on anything from art to books to clothes to politics.
Do you feel similarly hampered by the inevitable preoccupations or even PTSD you might have as a result of your past year? How does one escape the chains of one’s own suffering enough to occupy fictional characters? Or are we doomed to write non-fiction forevermore?
When you write do you see yourself writing as an able bodied or a disabled person and do you write for the able bodied or disabled community, or both? Do you perceive ableism in others or yourself and does this inform your writing? I ask as I have a hidden disabilty which is slowly leading towards a possible brain surgery with possible facial paralysis resulting. So it’s a slow burn towards something that others will clearly recognise as disabled. I’d like to write about this so I’ve thought a lot about how others perceive me and how I perceive myself. My worries about the paralysis definitely contain some ableism! Of course there are huge problems with not being able to eat properly, close your eye, or smile - but I wonder how much my worries are based on my own attitude to this kind of disfigurement. So I have pondered on both how I see myself and who I am writing for. I love your writing and it would be so good to get your take on these ideas.
As an old-as-dirt writer who has never even tried to get anything published, not even bothering to go beyond first draft stage- what do you think? There have been elderly not yet-senile writers who jump into the pool late in life and actually learn to swim- but it's rare. I'm supposing it has to do with cultural relevance, and the need to say what one is saying. The big thing for me is whether there is an audience for what I say. I do not speak the same language as most other people- my references and experiences are very personal and can seem tedious I suppose: why should anyone bother to learn my language if I have never learned theirs and so on? Yet, I've been told I am a "writer" when I work in writing groups, (though in one told my stuff was "whacky" so I left that group. "Whacky" is not a literary accolade.) I have hundreds of first drafts. I have a yearning to write some sort of autobiography, and love describing people I have known. I love people in all their glorious idiosyncrasy. My kids are tired of me saying, when they ask me when I am going to write a book, "There are too many books already! Look around! The only one I am going to write is going to be on fish food, which I will throw in the river." So the daytime of my life is turning to dusk, and I'm tired, and more and more concerned about this not only being a personal thing but in fact the status of the entire world- is it worth writing anything? My other business in life are painting, and meditative practices, and caring for others. All of this seems to be in inverse order of importance. My father told me, after I left my husband 30 years ago, that if I were not painting, it meant I did not have a burning need to do it, and if I didn't then, well, it didn't much matter. Too many things like that then life is over. What I find I have to do is wake up and put wood on the fire. Things like that. And bing! Life is over. My question is, what can you tell people like me who don't have an imperative need to do something, even if that thing is very important to them in many ways.
Nick Cave has said that he only became a ‘full human being’ on the tragic death of his teenage son. Does it take a life-shattering trauma to become fully human and what does that even mean….?
I have been following and reading your essays, with both joy and much sadness, but the beauty of your writing, the honesty of reality, the uplifting of your senses, have carried me through many days I am down as a writer.
Can I ask you a question: How do you keep your pace all year round? To keep writing and posting and at great quality and quantity as well?
Hanif, what's the nature of your working relationship with your book (s) editor (s)? Are they primarily editors hands off with the mss? Or do they get deep into the book with their suggestions? Thanks, Richard Price.
PS - We read together in 1992 at either the 92nd street YMCA or the Ethical Culture Institute. I can’t remember which. Buddha of Suburbia/ Clockers
I’m an editor who would love to have a go at writing. But always at my back sits my inner editor. I can’t make him go away. Do you have a suggestion for me?
I am an English teacher in France, and I currently teach literature with my students. Your novel, the Buddha of suburbia has been part of the state curriculum for the French baccalaureate for a few years now. I’ve been studying this novel with my students for three years now and it’s been an enriching experience for my students but also for me. I would like to know how you feel about the fact that your novel is part of a school curriculum.
Hi Hanif,
I spent 6 weeks living in a hospice with my partner who could not stay on a ward as brain cancer made him hypersensitive to noise. I had to move in because he couldn’t be left alone due to seizure risk and the hospice being unable to provide a 24/7 close watch.
It was a mad, intense and unusual experience. Our room became an extension of the staff room and an ante room off the ward for lots of patients who just wanted some company. Various family and friends came every day to give me a break so I could go home and feed the kids etc. We had a rota not unlike the system you have recently described.
I’m writing about it but cannot decide whether to write a memoir or a novel. Some of the most poignant, comical and tragic moments happened when people behaved in ways that they’re probably not proud of - me included. I’m fine with showing my own dodgy parts but........ is it okay to write about, for example, the sister who broke into the house and knicked his record collection whilst we were away, and other such incidents. Is it my story to tell as I like? I feel conflicted about it. I think a novel might liberate it - let the story fly but it did all happen so.......
Thanks.
Sandy.
Dear hanif. Thank you for your chronicles. You have taken your misfortunes and turned it into a creative art. But enough about you. I am a member of the loftily named Oxford Theatre Guild an AmDram group that puts on shows throughout the year. We do at least one Shakespeare in the Summer and one in the Winter. Then we do a lot of Eurocentric and white people stuff to cater to the North Oxford cashmere scarf wearing lot. This includes more productions of the Importance of being Earnest, Nell Gwynn, The Recruiting Officer, The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby, Andromache and on and on. I be like, "Sahibs, Memsahibs, bruvs, can we put on something a bit more contemporary and relevant to widen our target audience and be a bit more inclusive?" They have said they will think about it. I would like to direct a play that looks at identity, displacement, and the joys of living in the UK. (I am South African of Indian origin). Your Buddha of Suburbia was a mindfuck when I first read it. I was like, " There are other brown people who have expressed their struggle with identity and belonging and amplified their thoughts much more articulately than I ever could" Thank you Sir. But enough about me. Do you have any suggestions/thoughts or leads I could explore for any drama that could be done in the amateur dramatics arena? I can't write (yet) or I'd have written a funny play about immigrants and the immigrant experience or about just being brown and black in Oxford. For we are Townies not Gownies and some of us work at the BMW car factory.
I'm sure lots of writers are creating writing resolutions for the year right now - what would be your advice to them as they do this?
I listened to your guest edited radio programme; when it got to the end credits , I cried my bloody eyes out. Bowie's voice , your story, the joy I remember from reading 'the buddah of suburbia' back in the day . anyway it all came together and felled me , in a deep but beautiful way. I wish you well on your healing journey and hope one day you can connect again to music .
thank you for your blog. your writing , and your honesty . j x
When you dream, are you disabled? (I'm 5 years a quadriplegic and still able-bodied in my sleeping brain).
Since your accident have you tried any voice activated typing software? If so, do you think this is something that would enable you to write more independently in future, or would you find it too frustrating (you would probably still need someone to edit it)?
When I was young, I found it easy to escape myself and create fictional worlds, but having been beaten down by 30 years of severe illness and profound disability, I find that my mind is not so willing or able to escape the confines of my own preoccupations for long enough to write a novel. However, I find it refreshing to write feature length articles on anything from art to books to clothes to politics.
Do you feel similarly hampered by the inevitable preoccupations or even PTSD you might have as a result of your past year? How does one escape the chains of one’s own suffering enough to occupy fictional characters? Or are we doomed to write non-fiction forevermore?
When you write do you see yourself writing as an able bodied or a disabled person and do you write for the able bodied or disabled community, or both? Do you perceive ableism in others or yourself and does this inform your writing? I ask as I have a hidden disabilty which is slowly leading towards a possible brain surgery with possible facial paralysis resulting. So it’s a slow burn towards something that others will clearly recognise as disabled. I’d like to write about this so I’ve thought a lot about how others perceive me and how I perceive myself. My worries about the paralysis definitely contain some ableism! Of course there are huge problems with not being able to eat properly, close your eye, or smile - but I wonder how much my worries are based on my own attitude to this kind of disfigurement. So I have pondered on both how I see myself and who I am writing for. I love your writing and it would be so good to get your take on these ideas.
As an old-as-dirt writer who has never even tried to get anything published, not even bothering to go beyond first draft stage- what do you think? There have been elderly not yet-senile writers who jump into the pool late in life and actually learn to swim- but it's rare. I'm supposing it has to do with cultural relevance, and the need to say what one is saying. The big thing for me is whether there is an audience for what I say. I do not speak the same language as most other people- my references and experiences are very personal and can seem tedious I suppose: why should anyone bother to learn my language if I have never learned theirs and so on? Yet, I've been told I am a "writer" when I work in writing groups, (though in one told my stuff was "whacky" so I left that group. "Whacky" is not a literary accolade.) I have hundreds of first drafts. I have a yearning to write some sort of autobiography, and love describing people I have known. I love people in all their glorious idiosyncrasy. My kids are tired of me saying, when they ask me when I am going to write a book, "There are too many books already! Look around! The only one I am going to write is going to be on fish food, which I will throw in the river." So the daytime of my life is turning to dusk, and I'm tired, and more and more concerned about this not only being a personal thing but in fact the status of the entire world- is it worth writing anything? My other business in life are painting, and meditative practices, and caring for others. All of this seems to be in inverse order of importance. My father told me, after I left my husband 30 years ago, that if I were not painting, it meant I did not have a burning need to do it, and if I didn't then, well, it didn't much matter. Too many things like that then life is over. What I find I have to do is wake up and put wood on the fire. Things like that. And bing! Life is over. My question is, what can you tell people like me who don't have an imperative need to do something, even if that thing is very important to them in many ways.
Hanif,
Nick Cave has said that he only became a ‘full human being’ on the tragic death of his teenage son. Does it take a life-shattering trauma to become fully human and what does that even mean….?
What was your writing routine prior to your accident and what it is now?
Hi Hanif,
I have been following and reading your essays, with both joy and much sadness, but the beauty of your writing, the honesty of reality, the uplifting of your senses, have carried me through many days I am down as a writer.
Can I ask you a question: How do you keep your pace all year round? To keep writing and posting and at great quality and quantity as well?
Hanif, what's the nature of your working relationship with your book (s) editor (s)? Are they primarily editors hands off with the mss? Or do they get deep into the book with their suggestions? Thanks, Richard Price.
PS - We read together in 1992 at either the 92nd street YMCA or the Ethical Culture Institute. I can’t remember which. Buddha of Suburbia/ Clockers
What do you think is the single biggest contributing factor that determines whether or not someone ‘makes it’ as a writer?
I’m an editor who would love to have a go at writing. But always at my back sits my inner editor. I can’t make him go away. Do you have a suggestion for me?
Hi Hanif
I am an English teacher in France, and I currently teach literature with my students. Your novel, the Buddha of suburbia has been part of the state curriculum for the French baccalaureate for a few years now. I’ve been studying this novel with my students for three years now and it’s been an enriching experience for my students but also for me. I would like to know how you feel about the fact that your novel is part of a school curriculum.