Dear Readers, Thank you for your fabulous questions. I have answered some below, and intend to answer the rest this week. If you have any more, please post them below. I have had such fun corresponding with you . As always, if you have the means, it would mean a great deal if you could support my writing and become paid subscriber.
Hanif, I noticed that most of your readers see you as a writer rather than a disabled person. The bulk of the questions regarded your writing expertise and experience. I don't know if that gave you any comfort, but to me it was notable and touching.
This comment may make you wish I were in front of you so you could ask someone to kick me in my shins and witness it, and I wouldn’t blame you a bit. But I’m going to say it anyway.
You’re doing a lot better than you’re feeling.
Your work continues to be gorgeous and interesting and you’re prolific.
I cannot imagine the degree of despair I’d feel if I were in your shoes. That you have leaned into your work, and that it continues to support you financially, is an extraordinary accomplishment.
I’m constantly stunned at how arbitrary tragedy presents itself. I know you’ve got to feel like shit.
And, your work enriches our lives. No bullshit. It does.
I’m betting you could use less of our enrichment and more movement in your hands, but still. From my perspective, you’re a marvel.
Hi Hanif, I know this is possibly banal compared to writing about writing but....I really want to know how your physical recovery is going and what physiotherapy you have now ? This information is scant in your writing now and maybe it's frustrating to write about it because you feel your recovery isn't fast enough ? I would really appreciate it if you could find it in yourself to write to us about any progress you are physically making .
I missed the boat on the first lot of questions. I’d like to know about the characters you have created - which stay with you, whether you feel done with them, whether you imagine a further life for them. I’m sure people you know and things you hear must influence characters - you’ve written about how a writer is always taking things from real life. I’m mawkish and I’d like to know what’s your pettiest revenge you’ve exacted through a character in a book? And then I have a further question about David Bowie. He’s a great hero of mine too. At a friend’s party the other weekend I said I think he’s the coolest man ever to have lived. My friend took great delight telling me about how Bowie had flirted with fascism which I’d not heard before and did surprise me. Having googled it afterwards I see it was in character as the thin white duke and I read the comments as being provocative but also commenting on the role of populist dictators and how they mesmerise the populous rather than being supportive of fascism, but I know I’m biased and likely to put a positive spin on anything Bowie did. I wonder how you feel about that. Is there a line beyond which people shouldn’t cross in artistic representation- and where is it? Is anything off limits? Should it be?
Hello Hanif - do you think grief can be processed and dealt with in writing? Or is writing a temporary distraction from grief? I remember reading that your father passed away before you wrote the Black Album and I’ve always wondered if creating Shahid and writing from his perspective helped with the grief.
I have a question, but first I really appreciated your comments about voice and the advice to writers to find their own voice. I suffered a severe stroke in 2004 and for a while lost my physical voice, which was more cruel than losing power in an arm and a leg (which I also lost). I can therefore appreciate the utter frustration you must feel in your present position. I have now recovered my voice and the power in the damaged leg, but not the arm. I turned to writing as therapy and as a fundraiser for a stroke charity. I wrote a short book with the help of my dog and try to maintain a blog as a follow up. I also joined a local choir which did wonders for strengthening my voice. I felt safe singing with others as I can't sing well. Anyway, my question is simply - have you found your present challenging position a source of inspiration for creative writing in unexpected ways? Best wishes and strength to keep us all inspired with your posts. Eric
At 79 I call myself a writer because it is what I do day by day, sorry by story. I have only ever sought to publish something once a very, very long time ago, when 'my baby' was rejected, that was it. I feel often I have to justify calling myself a writer, and add, before anyone asks, I don't have anything publsiehd. So if I have a sudden idea or wake up from a dream with some small piece of it retained I write, I want to see what happens, what people in the story tell me, who they are and how they have arrived where they are, how they have solved their problems, their lives I suppose. To me this is similar to a type of automatic writing in a way, I wonder why a character wants tell me about their life, why me, why them...yet I still do this, I write, what they tell me and sure as anything they tell me when I try to turn their story in another direction with which they don't agree!
So if I have a question it's... is this ok and a 'normal' way to write, that fascinates me. I have to say there are many stories over the years which have 'tailed off', some get retrieved, others sit in a file for ever, their stories never resolved. I simply love to do this, and feel it was I am here for, which is very presumptuous!! I am happy as I am but another opinions always welcome if you have time.
Keep up your communications, I love them, every one, and learn a lot I didn't know before! It's is good be enlightened about a great many things, you may well know which ones I mean too!!
Keep your sense of humour and maybe irony too...have a laugh sometimes and smile often. You are loved by so many people.
Loved these generous thoughtful answers - thank you. And love that you are finding new ways to write, and from your kitchen table. There's a poem by Seán Hewitt which reminds me of what you said about a world view being smashed and remade. The river he's writing about is the Gave de Pau but maybe yours is the Thames...
And- not knowing if you will have these read to you or not- in my previous comment not being at all dismissive of the gravity of your situation and not intending to compare it to my own preoccupations- the only similarity is that any thoughts can be obsessive and fearful. I'm thinking that thoughts are all the same in nature even if the subjects of them are so diverse. A person can be lying in bed thinking relentlessly to the point of madness about something completely trivial. In your case, yes, there is a lot to think about that is not trivial at all, would not be for anyone- the utter unfairness of what you have been dealt. That thought in itself may not help you to deal with it, though. Your unique situation, so painful to contemplate, has brought you to a degree of helplessness, where fortunately you are surrounded by loving family and friends. I can imagine what it is like- only imagine what it is like to be in that situation. Thank you for answering that very personal question. Your mind is active, a warrior, a friend, a lover of life- your mind is still roaming the land, fighting vigorously and telling of it, still among your associates, your kinsmen and women, your allies. Valued among us.
Dear Hanif, Thank you so much for answering my questions! It means a lot to me to read your answers. I need the guidance you gave about writing. My writing has never been aimed at publication. It's been enough for me to write- but then clearly this is somewhat foolish. Maybe not as foolish as persevering in a something that should be abandoned, but a little foolish nonetheless. My parents were both artists and created pieces because they needed to, and they worked as if they did not care if anyone saw it or not. We only have one well-known artist in the family, among all the artists and musicians and writers, at this point- my son, a film-maker. In the end my parents were sorry that they had to leave behind bodies of work that had no monetary value for us to curate. I feel that their work has enormous value because it reflects their inner lives, their minds, their vision, unadulterated by commercial necessity or any ambition for recognition. But this kind of purity is a sort of box from which one needs to escape if one has something to say to the wider world as my son does. I sense that there is no time to waste and yet one must be relaxed in one's efforts or else there is ugly and futile desperation. Reading about Bowie, and about yourself, I am reminded of the enormous and glorious breadth of the human experience. Why be limited unnecessarily? Which brings me to an answer you gave to another correspondent, about spirituality. The only reason I have pursued a spiritual path in my life is to remove the limits to my perceptions, find out which are self-imposed and dissolve them. It has not been because I necessarily am a follower or believer- I am an explorer. That does not mean that at night, my own worries do not keep me awake, and I do what you maybe do- I try to distract myself. Last night my grandson was staying overnight in my mother's cavernous home, still filled with her art pieces. He was recording some music, using the huge living room for its acoustic qualities, and including the untuned piano in his soundscape. The mere idea that someone was in that house, which I maintain and which requires I deal with my difficult sisters, kept me awake all night, despite my delight in him being there and creating something there- such an important thing to do. Tree falls in woods. We can hear it now... Thank you thank you. Wonderful of you to write to us individually and answer us. Treasured communications- part of life's treasure.
I wonder what the word ‘complete’ means to you. I imagine that both historically and in your current circumstance, it’s a word you may, at times, have had to think about.
I often think of how we talk of someone’s death in Punjabi; the translation is something akin to ‘so and so has become complete’. And then I thought about how people often deploy the word in relation to a lover: ‘they make me complete’. And then…well, then I thought that the first usage doesn’t exactly flatter the second!
Hanif, I noticed that most of your readers see you as a writer rather than a disabled person. The bulk of the questions regarded your writing expertise and experience. I don't know if that gave you any comfort, but to me it was notable and touching.
This comment may make you wish I were in front of you so you could ask someone to kick me in my shins and witness it, and I wouldn’t blame you a bit. But I’m going to say it anyway.
You’re doing a lot better than you’re feeling.
Your work continues to be gorgeous and interesting and you’re prolific.
I cannot imagine the degree of despair I’d feel if I were in your shoes. That you have leaned into your work, and that it continues to support you financially, is an extraordinary accomplishment.
I’m constantly stunned at how arbitrary tragedy presents itself. I know you’ve got to feel like shit.
And, your work enriches our lives. No bullshit. It does.
I’m betting you could use less of our enrichment and more movement in your hands, but still. From my perspective, you’re a marvel.
Hi Hanif, I know this is possibly banal compared to writing about writing but....I really want to know how your physical recovery is going and what physiotherapy you have now ? This information is scant in your writing now and maybe it's frustrating to write about it because you feel your recovery isn't fast enough ? I would really appreciate it if you could find it in yourself to write to us about any progress you are physically making .
Many regards, Jane.
I missed the boat on the first lot of questions. I’d like to know about the characters you have created - which stay with you, whether you feel done with them, whether you imagine a further life for them. I’m sure people you know and things you hear must influence characters - you’ve written about how a writer is always taking things from real life. I’m mawkish and I’d like to know what’s your pettiest revenge you’ve exacted through a character in a book? And then I have a further question about David Bowie. He’s a great hero of mine too. At a friend’s party the other weekend I said I think he’s the coolest man ever to have lived. My friend took great delight telling me about how Bowie had flirted with fascism which I’d not heard before and did surprise me. Having googled it afterwards I see it was in character as the thin white duke and I read the comments as being provocative but also commenting on the role of populist dictators and how they mesmerise the populous rather than being supportive of fascism, but I know I’m biased and likely to put a positive spin on anything Bowie did. I wonder how you feel about that. Is there a line beyond which people shouldn’t cross in artistic representation- and where is it? Is anything off limits? Should it be?
Hello Hanif - do you think grief can be processed and dealt with in writing? Or is writing a temporary distraction from grief? I remember reading that your father passed away before you wrote the Black Album and I’ve always wondered if creating Shahid and writing from his perspective helped with the grief.
I have a question, but first I really appreciated your comments about voice and the advice to writers to find their own voice. I suffered a severe stroke in 2004 and for a while lost my physical voice, which was more cruel than losing power in an arm and a leg (which I also lost). I can therefore appreciate the utter frustration you must feel in your present position. I have now recovered my voice and the power in the damaged leg, but not the arm. I turned to writing as therapy and as a fundraiser for a stroke charity. I wrote a short book with the help of my dog and try to maintain a blog as a follow up. I also joined a local choir which did wonders for strengthening my voice. I felt safe singing with others as I can't sing well. Anyway, my question is simply - have you found your present challenging position a source of inspiration for creative writing in unexpected ways? Best wishes and strength to keep us all inspired with your posts. Eric
Dear Hanif,
A vague question!
At 79 I call myself a writer because it is what I do day by day, sorry by story. I have only ever sought to publish something once a very, very long time ago, when 'my baby' was rejected, that was it. I feel often I have to justify calling myself a writer, and add, before anyone asks, I don't have anything publsiehd. So if I have a sudden idea or wake up from a dream with some small piece of it retained I write, I want to see what happens, what people in the story tell me, who they are and how they have arrived where they are, how they have solved their problems, their lives I suppose. To me this is similar to a type of automatic writing in a way, I wonder why a character wants tell me about their life, why me, why them...yet I still do this, I write, what they tell me and sure as anything they tell me when I try to turn their story in another direction with which they don't agree!
So if I have a question it's... is this ok and a 'normal' way to write, that fascinates me. I have to say there are many stories over the years which have 'tailed off', some get retrieved, others sit in a file for ever, their stories never resolved. I simply love to do this, and feel it was I am here for, which is very presumptuous!! I am happy as I am but another opinions always welcome if you have time.
Keep up your communications, I love them, every one, and learn a lot I didn't know before! It's is good be enlightened about a great many things, you may well know which ones I mean too!!
Keep your sense of humour and maybe irony too...have a laugh sometimes and smile often. You are loved by so many people.
Lis
Loved these generous thoughtful answers - thank you. And love that you are finding new ways to write, and from your kitchen table. There's a poem by Seán Hewitt which reminds me of what you said about a world view being smashed and remade. The river he's writing about is the Gave de Pau but maybe yours is the Thames...
"....the river seemed
to reassemble my life around me.
And now the rain is smashing down
into the pond - this is it, I think:
I came here to see myself shattered
and remade; if only to show myself
that it is possible, and the moon
has turned my skin to silver,
and the willow with its head laid down
on the water is whispering something
in its sleep"
And- not knowing if you will have these read to you or not- in my previous comment not being at all dismissive of the gravity of your situation and not intending to compare it to my own preoccupations- the only similarity is that any thoughts can be obsessive and fearful. I'm thinking that thoughts are all the same in nature even if the subjects of them are so diverse. A person can be lying in bed thinking relentlessly to the point of madness about something completely trivial. In your case, yes, there is a lot to think about that is not trivial at all, would not be for anyone- the utter unfairness of what you have been dealt. That thought in itself may not help you to deal with it, though. Your unique situation, so painful to contemplate, has brought you to a degree of helplessness, where fortunately you are surrounded by loving family and friends. I can imagine what it is like- only imagine what it is like to be in that situation. Thank you for answering that very personal question. Your mind is active, a warrior, a friend, a lover of life- your mind is still roaming the land, fighting vigorously and telling of it, still among your associates, your kinsmen and women, your allies. Valued among us.
Dear Hanif, Thank you so much for answering my questions! It means a lot to me to read your answers. I need the guidance you gave about writing. My writing has never been aimed at publication. It's been enough for me to write- but then clearly this is somewhat foolish. Maybe not as foolish as persevering in a something that should be abandoned, but a little foolish nonetheless. My parents were both artists and created pieces because they needed to, and they worked as if they did not care if anyone saw it or not. We only have one well-known artist in the family, among all the artists and musicians and writers, at this point- my son, a film-maker. In the end my parents were sorry that they had to leave behind bodies of work that had no monetary value for us to curate. I feel that their work has enormous value because it reflects their inner lives, their minds, their vision, unadulterated by commercial necessity or any ambition for recognition. But this kind of purity is a sort of box from which one needs to escape if one has something to say to the wider world as my son does. I sense that there is no time to waste and yet one must be relaxed in one's efforts or else there is ugly and futile desperation. Reading about Bowie, and about yourself, I am reminded of the enormous and glorious breadth of the human experience. Why be limited unnecessarily? Which brings me to an answer you gave to another correspondent, about spirituality. The only reason I have pursued a spiritual path in my life is to remove the limits to my perceptions, find out which are self-imposed and dissolve them. It has not been because I necessarily am a follower or believer- I am an explorer. That does not mean that at night, my own worries do not keep me awake, and I do what you maybe do- I try to distract myself. Last night my grandson was staying overnight in my mother's cavernous home, still filled with her art pieces. He was recording some music, using the huge living room for its acoustic qualities, and including the untuned piano in his soundscape. The mere idea that someone was in that house, which I maintain and which requires I deal with my difficult sisters, kept me awake all night, despite my delight in him being there and creating something there- such an important thing to do. Tree falls in woods. We can hear it now... Thank you thank you. Wonderful of you to write to us individually and answer us. Treasured communications- part of life's treasure.
Dear Hanif,
I wonder what the word ‘complete’ means to you. I imagine that both historically and in your current circumstance, it’s a word you may, at times, have had to think about.
I often think of how we talk of someone’s death in Punjabi; the translation is something akin to ‘so and so has become complete’. And then I thought about how people often deploy the word in relation to a lover: ‘they make me complete’. And then…well, then I thought that the first usage doesn’t exactly flatter the second!
Any thoughts?
Jag