Maybe the species has some innate wisdom- this is not a good time to procreate. Once whatever-it-is-that-is-going-to happen has happened, then everyone will be very into it again.
I read this yesterday and it stuck in my mind. I am now 67 and sexual desire no longer exists and I don't mind . Very strange given how desire dominated so many of my choices, relationships , I look back in astonishment . How could I be so driven ? Yet it was amazing and I am pleased to report predominantly led to fantastic sex ....2 mins ? Maybe I was just lucky but that was not my experience. Great article, thank you
This guest blog arrives at a serendipitous moment. This morning I began writing about an incident that occurred many years ago in Tarapith, West Bengal, back when it was still a village. I was sexually molested by a priestess of some sort. Was it consensual? Not entirely from my point of view. I did not initiate the sex, nor did I really know what was going on. Obviously I was aware that I was about to have sex and thereafter that I was having sex, but there was a ritual element to it that I didn't understand and still don't. I just went along with it. Tarapith, during the time of my visit, was this insane place that jarred against my western sensibilities. I met very few people who spoke English. I look back on it now with bewilderment. I feel no antipathy towards my partner, who later used her body to shield me from black-robed priests who were attempting to do me harm. The only thing that I wish I had done differently was to find out her name, which has been lost in time.
Speaking of time, the discrepancy between the average duration of penis-vaginal intercourse during different modern eras might be explained by the sex clocks that were in use. I am too young to remember the notorious blue egg timers (so called because of the colour of the sand) that were discretely prescribed by GPs, and handed over the counter by chemists in a plain cardboard box, as part of Fleckney and Halpin's decade-long marital relations survey. These timers were notoriously slow and it is likely that couples were lasting longer than they thought. My great aunt Mary kept one in a kitchen drawer and used it as a timer for hard-boiling eggs.
The 12-minutes sexual odysseys of the early 1970s, that coincided with the rise of progressive rock, are again very likely man-made in origin. The analogue stopwatch-style sex clocks in use during this period were manufactured at the Ampleford factory in Luton. Unlike their sand-based predecessors they ran fast, the result of a fundamental design flaw in the mechanism, meaning that twelve minutes could fly by in as little as six. Tragically some of these stopwatches found their way out of the bedroom and into junior amateur athletics. When this was discovered several track records had to be expunged from the books.
The digital sex clock-radios of the 1980s were very difficult to calibrate. You had to remove the back panel where the batteries went and poke around inside with a biro. The allegorical nature of this ritual was not lost on the agony aunt, Patricia Carmichael, who also flippantly suggested that you could retain a state of mutual arousal while setting the sex clock, by spraying it with whipped cream and then seductively licking it off.
Since 2003, all sex clocks are calibrated either by radio waves or through the Internet. Some models will also charge your mobile phone. The master clock is located somewhere inside the Elizabeth Tower, which also houses Big Ben. We may not know exactly how to communicate with one another sexually, but thanks to advances in technology, we can at least say with confidence what time it is, and how long the sex took.
If I may return to being serious, I have watched the proliferation of new sexual terminologies spill from online rabbit hats, such as Tumblr. In theory an abundance of language that enables us to describe ourselves sexually is a very good thing (I wonder whether the Inuit people ever marvel over the people of Newcastle who are reputed to have over 50 different words for oral sex). My observation is that a lot of these new terms are not being used in good faith, in that they are being deployed as a shorthand for identities that may or may not be real, in a cycle of one-upmanship - 'I'm special because I'm...'
If that is the case, then far from helping us to develop healthy sexual identities which we can communicate to others, these terms are likely to be alienating and fated to descend into babble.
I bet you could have written the same again - you seemed to end on a cliffhanger there as we nudged up against new sexual territory. It’s such a thing is sex such a force. Even or especially as you make the point when it is not there it is there. In our dreams it is there and I think from very early on in our lives it is most definitely there. If someone told me I could never have sex again and I include with myself it would be like a death. A force to reckon with - it has driven people wild. Thanks for such a thought provoking piece of writing - Hanif does keep this theme at the forefront and is the only writer I can think of who I don’t mind doing that. Probably his excruciating honesty at times. Now usually the programme on in the background gets a mention and unfortunately it is Gladiators which I cannot warm to - all that ghastly skin tight coverage. It is on prior to - The Wheel! No nothing remotely sexy there either. As I gently wither away into Saturday night wish you Hanif much care from the nowhere North Yorkshire village - Maddi x
IMO it because: Virtual realty porn allows one to actually to seemingly participate in it while watching it through a VR headset that brings the environment to life. It’s a totally immersive experience. Who needs sex with a partner? And now with AI and porn it’s expected that all sex will be online and partners will be for companionship only. Ha! I don’t know if that will happen because our phones are our biggest companions!!
Although “fuck” has now acquired the meaning of ruining something, the word originally came from an acronym: Full Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. When people were caught doing this outside of matrimony in medieval times, the men would be put in the stocks for public humiliation and punishment, with their offence publicly displayed. Hence our favourite swear word.
This was interesting. My daughter recently told me she was bi sexual. This created a lot of confusion in my mind as to how and why this had happened, was I responsible for it some way? Also I have been noticing a kind of obsession that this generation has been having about identity, in terms of their sexual orientation. This obsession seems to help them have a more serious view of themselves, even though it is just as shallow as other obsessions and identities. But there is this feeling of being entitled to having the choice and making it. This seems to take them away from other serious issues like finding out one's true self and being one with the reality.
Maybe the species has some innate wisdom- this is not a good time to procreate. Once whatever-it-is-that-is-going-to happen has happened, then everyone will be very into it again.
Two minutes? No wonder there was a feminist revolt! :)
I read this yesterday and it stuck in my mind. I am now 67 and sexual desire no longer exists and I don't mind . Very strange given how desire dominated so many of my choices, relationships , I look back in astonishment . How could I be so driven ? Yet it was amazing and I am pleased to report predominantly led to fantastic sex ....2 mins ? Maybe I was just lucky but that was not my experience. Great article, thank you
This guest blog arrives at a serendipitous moment. This morning I began writing about an incident that occurred many years ago in Tarapith, West Bengal, back when it was still a village. I was sexually molested by a priestess of some sort. Was it consensual? Not entirely from my point of view. I did not initiate the sex, nor did I really know what was going on. Obviously I was aware that I was about to have sex and thereafter that I was having sex, but there was a ritual element to it that I didn't understand and still don't. I just went along with it. Tarapith, during the time of my visit, was this insane place that jarred against my western sensibilities. I met very few people who spoke English. I look back on it now with bewilderment. I feel no antipathy towards my partner, who later used her body to shield me from black-robed priests who were attempting to do me harm. The only thing that I wish I had done differently was to find out her name, which has been lost in time.
Speaking of time, the discrepancy between the average duration of penis-vaginal intercourse during different modern eras might be explained by the sex clocks that were in use. I am too young to remember the notorious blue egg timers (so called because of the colour of the sand) that were discretely prescribed by GPs, and handed over the counter by chemists in a plain cardboard box, as part of Fleckney and Halpin's decade-long marital relations survey. These timers were notoriously slow and it is likely that couples were lasting longer than they thought. My great aunt Mary kept one in a kitchen drawer and used it as a timer for hard-boiling eggs.
The 12-minutes sexual odysseys of the early 1970s, that coincided with the rise of progressive rock, are again very likely man-made in origin. The analogue stopwatch-style sex clocks in use during this period were manufactured at the Ampleford factory in Luton. Unlike their sand-based predecessors they ran fast, the result of a fundamental design flaw in the mechanism, meaning that twelve minutes could fly by in as little as six. Tragically some of these stopwatches found their way out of the bedroom and into junior amateur athletics. When this was discovered several track records had to be expunged from the books.
The digital sex clock-radios of the 1980s were very difficult to calibrate. You had to remove the back panel where the batteries went and poke around inside with a biro. The allegorical nature of this ritual was not lost on the agony aunt, Patricia Carmichael, who also flippantly suggested that you could retain a state of mutual arousal while setting the sex clock, by spraying it with whipped cream and then seductively licking it off.
Since 2003, all sex clocks are calibrated either by radio waves or through the Internet. Some models will also charge your mobile phone. The master clock is located somewhere inside the Elizabeth Tower, which also houses Big Ben. We may not know exactly how to communicate with one another sexually, but thanks to advances in technology, we can at least say with confidence what time it is, and how long the sex took.
If I may return to being serious, I have watched the proliferation of new sexual terminologies spill from online rabbit hats, such as Tumblr. In theory an abundance of language that enables us to describe ourselves sexually is a very good thing (I wonder whether the Inuit people ever marvel over the people of Newcastle who are reputed to have over 50 different words for oral sex). My observation is that a lot of these new terms are not being used in good faith, in that they are being deployed as a shorthand for identities that may or may not be real, in a cycle of one-upmanship - 'I'm special because I'm...'
If that is the case, then far from helping us to develop healthy sexual identities which we can communicate to others, these terms are likely to be alienating and fated to descend into babble.
I did hear someone comment that young people are having less sex because they can’t afford to move out of their parents’ homes.
I bet you could have written the same again - you seemed to end on a cliffhanger there as we nudged up against new sexual territory. It’s such a thing is sex such a force. Even or especially as you make the point when it is not there it is there. In our dreams it is there and I think from very early on in our lives it is most definitely there. If someone told me I could never have sex again and I include with myself it would be like a death. A force to reckon with - it has driven people wild. Thanks for such a thought provoking piece of writing - Hanif does keep this theme at the forefront and is the only writer I can think of who I don’t mind doing that. Probably his excruciating honesty at times. Now usually the programme on in the background gets a mention and unfortunately it is Gladiators which I cannot warm to - all that ghastly skin tight coverage. It is on prior to - The Wheel! No nothing remotely sexy there either. As I gently wither away into Saturday night wish you Hanif much care from the nowhere North Yorkshire village - Maddi x
IMO it because: Virtual realty porn allows one to actually to seemingly participate in it while watching it through a VR headset that brings the environment to life. It’s a totally immersive experience. Who needs sex with a partner? And now with AI and porn it’s expected that all sex will be online and partners will be for companionship only. Ha! I don’t know if that will happen because our phones are our biggest companions!!
Darian Leader is always great in his Lacanian analysis. He is one of the most relevant thinkers today.
Although “fuck” has now acquired the meaning of ruining something, the word originally came from an acronym: Full Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. When people were caught doing this outside of matrimony in medieval times, the men would be put in the stocks for public humiliation and punishment, with their offence publicly displayed. Hence our favourite swear word.
This was interesting. My daughter recently told me she was bi sexual. This created a lot of confusion in my mind as to how and why this had happened, was I responsible for it some way? Also I have been noticing a kind of obsession that this generation has been having about identity, in terms of their sexual orientation. This obsession seems to help them have a more serious view of themselves, even though it is just as shallow as other obsessions and identities. But there is this feeling of being entitled to having the choice and making it. This seems to take them away from other serious issues like finding out one's true self and being one with the reality.
I just watched the new Contrapoints video and this article is talking about the same topic!