The idea of finding one’s voice can be misleading, as though it were a destination rather than an experiment. There is no stopping when it comes to voice-finding.
I love the idea of this father son writing collaboration as a sort of mental martial art. Tai chi perhaps. You know where you’re going but it’s about perfecting the technique and grace with which you progress through the form. It’s not about the destination. Each step along the way has equal worth and demands your full attention.
I’m fully envious of your relationship. My own father was temperamentally and psychologically unsuited to such a relationship. He could only condescend or bully depending on the phase of his emotional cycle. I strive to achieve something like what you have with my own children. Sometimes for a bespoke job you have to first make the tools and then learn to use them. 🤷🏻♂️
I especially enjoy learning about your process together and the minutiae of how we (people in general) affect each other’s choices as we move along in ‘the action’ of communicating.
Your genuine interest in each other’s perspective is revealing of your love for each other. Your kindness w each other moves me. Our World Needs Kind People More Now Than Ever Before.
It's great to know more about how these wonderful pieces come to be. Thank you Carlo, for all you do for your father- a labor of love and trust for both of you, with rewards naturally arriving, un-asked for.
The discussion about editing and structuring is so true from journalism to screenwriting. Structure is always important, strict plotting, which is difficult, not so much in a novel if characters and writing is good (see Raymond Chandler).
I loved this conversation between you! Reminds me of the precious time I spent with my dad writing his memoir and a book about flying planes, his favorite subject. The experience, a co-creative jumbling of ideas and memories gave us clarity and closeness we would never have discovered otherwise.
Reading your blogs is always uplifting, which is an astonishing achievement given the context of your writing. On top of this you are teaching us a lot about the craft of writing, in an unpedantic and appealing way. Deep thanks to both of you.
One of the most compelling chronicles. In spite of all the trauma to have such a heartwarming and open collaboration between father and son uplifts the spirit.
An extraordinary opportunity for father and son to really communicate, to share things, to help each other, to be honest with each other. I never had that with my father, nor even with my mother. Now it's too late. Their secrets went with them. Carlo, you are privileged, so are you Hanif.
I recently went for a weekend with my adopted family to a place called Malinallco (Mexico) to celebrate a birthday and to unite the family. My compadre took his mother, now 95, and shared a room with her. After we dropped her off he said: what a fantastic weekend, such a great opportunity to be with my mother after all these years. A room, a bathroom, time together, walks round the garden arm in arm. Such precious moments. He shed a tear as he said it.
Thank you for this wonderful piece! You can just feel the warmth, love and respect throughout this informative exchange (I probably should’ve cut the ‘just’).
I love the idea of this father son writing collaboration as a sort of mental martial art. Tai chi perhaps. You know where you’re going but it’s about perfecting the technique and grace with which you progress through the form. It’s not about the destination. Each step along the way has equal worth and demands your full attention.
I’m fully envious of your relationship. My own father was temperamentally and psychologically unsuited to such a relationship. He could only condescend or bully depending on the phase of his emotional cycle. I strive to achieve something like what you have with my own children. Sometimes for a bespoke job you have to first make the tools and then learn to use them. 🤷🏻♂️
Nice ‘bespoke’ job 😉..”make the tools” imagery works for me.. gently organized..
As each age changes our skill & our desired pathway or point of view…
I especially enjoy learning about your process together and the minutiae of how we (people in general) affect each other’s choices as we move along in ‘the action’ of communicating.
Your genuine interest in each other’s perspective is revealing of your love for each other. Your kindness w each other moves me. Our World Needs Kind People More Now Than Ever Before.
Loved this. Very illuminating for many reasons!
It's great to know more about how these wonderful pieces come to be. Thank you Carlo, for all you do for your father- a labor of love and trust for both of you, with rewards naturally arriving, un-asked for.
Very proud of you both for this terrific piece xx
A double knockout, this Substack. The mirrored comments at the end landed like a couple of final punches in a boxing match.
Great insightful piece. In fact, a Masterclass in writing. Thank you for sharing.
As for casting suggestions, Daniel Day Lewis can play Hanif Kureishi and Carlo can play himself! QED
The discussion about editing and structuring is so true from journalism to screenwriting. Structure is always important, strict plotting, which is difficult, not so much in a novel if characters and writing is good (see Raymond Chandler).
I loved this conversation between you! Reminds me of the precious time I spent with my dad writing his memoir and a book about flying planes, his favorite subject. The experience, a co-creative jumbling of ideas and memories gave us clarity and closeness we would never have discovered otherwise.
Great conversation.
Reading your blogs is always uplifting, which is an astonishing achievement given the context of your writing. On top of this you are teaching us a lot about the craft of writing, in an unpedantic and appealing way. Deep thanks to both of you.
As I finished reading, I felt a big and sincere smile on my face. THANK YOU, both :)
YES! Me too!
One of the most compelling chronicles. In spite of all the trauma to have such a heartwarming and open collaboration between father and son uplifts the spirit.
Wow I loved this 'episode'. Hello, Carlo. Nice to meet you.
An extraordinary opportunity for father and son to really communicate, to share things, to help each other, to be honest with each other. I never had that with my father, nor even with my mother. Now it's too late. Their secrets went with them. Carlo, you are privileged, so are you Hanif.
I recently went for a weekend with my adopted family to a place called Malinallco (Mexico) to celebrate a birthday and to unite the family. My compadre took his mother, now 95, and shared a room with her. After we dropped her off he said: what a fantastic weekend, such a great opportunity to be with my mother after all these years. A room, a bathroom, time together, walks round the garden arm in arm. Such precious moments. He shed a tear as he said it.
Carlo, you are blessed.
Thank you for this wonderful piece! You can just feel the warmth, love and respect throughout this informative exchange (I probably should’ve cut the ‘just’).